What Is Change and How Does It Happen?

Change is a universal process shaping our lives, yet it often remains a mystery—does it happen in a single transformative moment or through a series of gradual steps? According to theories like the Kübler-Ross model, change occurs in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s rarely a single event but rather a journey of reflection, action, and growth that leads to visible results.
In coaching, change seldom happens during the session itself. The true impact emerges between sessions, in everyday life, as we apply what we’ve learned. Sometimes, the effects of coaching become evident only months or even years later—like an investment in the future that slowly yields results. While some changes occur quickly, most require time, patience, and consistent effort.

Resistance to Change and Overcoming It

Resistance to change is a natural reaction—a defense mechanism against stepping out of our comfort zone. It stems from fear, ingrained beliefs, and uncertainty. The key to overcoming this resistance lies in small, consistent actions. These actions gradually weaken limiting beliefs and open the door to new perspectives.
Patience is essential. Change takes time, and results aren’t always immediate. But small, steady steps lay the foundation for lasting transformation. Ultimately, it’s up to us—whether we apply what we’ve learned or remain stagnant.

Different Clients, Different Results

The outcome of change depends on a client’s motivation and readiness. Clients can generally be categorized into three types:

• Visitors: Attend sessions because someone else encouraged them or for external benefits, such as maintaining a job or relationship.
• Complainers: Resist change, find reasons why things won’t work, and reject suggestions while insisting they cannot or will not change.
• Clients - Change-seekers: Motivated and willing to work on their issues, these clients endure the challenges of transformation because they see the benefits and goals they’ll achieve.

The success of coaching heavily relies on the client’s willingness to take responsibility for their actions and decisions.

Identity and Change

Change profoundly impacts our identity. As people transition through life’s stages—starting a new job, marriage, or parenthood—they often redefine who they are. You’ve likely heard phrases like, “He’s become a different person” or “She’s not who she used to be.” These changes aren’t merely external but reshape our inner world and relationships.

How do we react to natural changes like schooling or marriage? And what about sudden changes that demand immediate action? Our reactions reveal our adaptability and readiness to embrace transformation.

The Power of Decisions in Change

Every change begins with a decision—small or large. Small decisions, such as daily habits, create the groundwork for significant transformations. Big decisions require courage and clarity about the ultimate goal.

Change is a process, and its success lies in recognizing the pivotal moments that shape our future and taking bold action. Coaching provides guidance, but the decisions and actions that drive transformation are always ours. Growth is within reach—all it takes is the first step.